Mamma’s Quinceañera . . . Not Really!


It’s been such long time since we’ve given you all an update on Mamma’s life but we are back(ish) to say the least. I have no doubt that you all thought that Mamma’s little corner on the web here was tapering off, or worse, that she fell seriously ill but fortunately, neither of those two thoughts are true. You see, on New Years Eve, I made a resolution of giving myself a much needed blog hiatus. We have been trucking along, nonstop, since 2011 and I just needed some time off to relax, regroup and find some new inspiration. It’s also been a very busy four months for me professionally (working on Grace Jones’ memoir has been taxing to say the least) as well as socially, and blogging is like having a second job. So I hope you all can forgive us although after viewing this post, I have a feeling you won’t even remember our absence. A few things have changed since our last encounter with the Easter bunny. For starters, I shaved my giant beard off. I woke up one morning and simply decided to buzz it off. When I was finished, there was hair everywhere in my bathroom and Mamma Biscuit was standing by the doorway with glassy eyes as if she had been sobbing under the noise of my buzzer. That little gremlin of ours really enjoyed warming up her snout within the folds of my facial hair all Winter long so my bare face traumatized her. To console her, I had to remind her that I’m Italian and within a week or so, half of what I had shaved off would be right back on my face. And so here I am now, writing about a shaved beard that is practically back on my face, and Mamma is happy as a clam about it although with this Summer heat, she just admires my facial hair from a distance.


But enough about me. After visiting the Easter Bunny in late March, all Mamma Biscuit could do for the next four months was bark on and on about wanting an extravagant Quinceañera for her birthday this year. Seriously, the arguments at the Pug Palace have resembled several from a few episodes of MTV’s Sweet Sixteen. You see, this is exactly what happens when you live in the little Dominican Republic of New York City, and for me, the thought of spending all of that money on a Quinceañera makes me want to vomit. The money is an obvious issue but then all of these horrible vignettes of aggressive brides alla “My Big Fat Gypsy Wedding” flood my head when I think of such an event leaving me just as frustrated as Mamma Biscuit was when I flat out denied the request. Somehow though, Mamma got it in her head that she wanted one. I bet it had something to do with that pack of female chihuahuas she hung out with at the dog run several months ago. They were yapping in her ear, setting off all sorts of expensive ideas about how we should celebrate Mamma’s 15th birthday. At one point, I had to sit her down and give her a talk about how it’s not a good idea to have people tack money to her dress at her birthday party—money that I would inevitably use to pay for the party because we do not belong to the 1% of the Latino community. On the bright side though, the only thing I would sincerely approve of is having a piñata in the shape of Donald Trump at her party so that we can honor the Latino culture the right way (by violently bashing the head of that comb-over bigot) instead of appropriating it the wrong way. Thankfully, the moment I put Mamma Biscuit into one of those frilly, cake-like gowns, she frowned in disapproval. Thank goodness she has impeccable taste in clothing because I entertained the thought long enough for her to see that it was a bad idea and a typical Quinceañera dress really put everything in perspective for our little Biscuit Lady.


So after much debate, we all settled with the idea of having a small and intimate celebration for Mamma Biscuit instead of a crazy Quinceañera and I found this amazing mint green seer sucker dress with peach flower accent and dramatic balloon neckline (a Martha Stewart original) to mark the special occasion—all without compromising her Halloween costume budget. I know, I’m good like that! Now this dress is part Vivienne Westwood and part wealthy-woman-at-the-vineyard-in-the-Hampton’s. Mamma Biscuit is ready to ring in her 15th birthday with tons of style and panache wearing this number, don’t you think?


On a reflective note, I cannot believe that Tommy and I have had this little gremlin in our lives for the last 8 years and I could never imagine life without her. Mamma Biscuit is so much a part of who Tommy and I are, not only as people, but as New Yorkers. She’s an incredibly special pooch who captures the hearts of the young and the old and can bring even the most masculine of men to their knees from her unbearable cuteness.


After taking these portraits of Mamma Biscuit wearing her fabulous frock in the park, Tommy decided to surprise her with a wild berry doughnut from Dun-Well Doughnuts, a vegan doughnut bakery in Brooklyn. My mom, dad, brother and Tommy sang Happy Birthday to our hungry Biscuit lady who looked on with bulging eyes at the sugary concoction and bowl of honeydew melon, waiting to be devoured after our song was through.


So here’s to Mamma Biscuit and her 15th birthday. The actual day is July 11th, the day we picked her up from Curly Tail Pug Rescue 8 years ago. We decided to celebrate and post something a week early so you all can enjoy the festivities of Mamma’s 15th birthday. Make sure you all go out and do something special to mark the day your favorite toothless pug on the Internet found true family love, and the day this very creature rescued us!


Happy Birthday Mamma Biscuit!

You’re only fifteen
But you’re my teenage queen
You’re the prettiest, loveliest girl Ive ever seen


Posted in Fashion, Holiday | 11 Comments

Easter Bunny Madness!


I’m not sure how we managed to make our way out to Long Island to visit the Easter bunny this year but I’m so glad we did. Aside from just being super busy this entire Winter and feeling like time has just escaped us from every single direction, the weather itself has been uncooporative as well! Our days have been unseasonably cold and snowy that even shopping for an Easter dress for Mamma Biscuit alone seemed to be uninspiring. I thought that maybe putting up our annual Easter tree would bring some Spring cheer into our home but with each passing snowfall, the rock salt, scarf and gloves seemed to infringe on our Easter eggs. It seems like Mother Nature is going to continue to be an unyielding bitch with her Wintry tendencies so last weekend, I decided make my own plans. We packed up our little gremlin along with one of her adorable Spring frocks and headed to The Dees’ Nursery & Florist out in Oceanside, Long Island to take a bunch of awkward and creepy portraits of Mamma Biscuit on the Easter bunny’s lap! This is seriously the only way we know how to celebrate the betrayal, death and resurrection of Jesus Christ!


The staff at Dees’ simply cannot get enough of Mamma Biscuit and her impeccable style and look forward to our visits during Christmas as well as Easter. So come along and take a look at some of our fun and silly photographs of Mamma Biscuit stealing the Easter bunny’s heart while making love to the camera. I swear, our little pug must have been a super model in her passed life because she is working every angle of her face here—like she needs to pay the rent!


It was almost a novelty to walk around the nursery and look at all of the beautiful flowers in bloom considering it was below freezing outside the greenhouse walls. Here’s hoping some of these floral photos can bring you a sense of Spring through the computer screen.


Now onto the most important aspect of the Easter holiday, Mamma’s annual Easter tree! You’ve been waiting all year for this and the time has finally come. Mamma’s tree stands in our living room corner in all of its Easter glory bringing us a much needed Springtime cheer in the never-ending Winter we’ve been having.


So that’s it folks. The Biscuit family would like to wish you all a very Hoppy Easter. Hopefully, Spring will show up soon—any day now, right?!? sighhhhhh


Posted in Fashion, Holiday | 10 Comments

Spring Anyone?


Does this look like a portrait of Spring to you? Seriously, this Winter does not want to go away. It’s one of the most confusing Winters we have experienced here in the Northeast in a really long time. One day it’s 47 degrees and the next day, it drops down to -11 degrees. How the hell am I supposed to deal with the depression that sets in this weekend when I have to move the clocks one hour ahead to usher in the new season when the forecast calls for snow, snow and more snow? If that’s bad enough, I had intentions of decorating the Pug Palace this weekend with Mamma’s annual Easter tree yet the 8 inches of snow on the ground has me wanting to drag out the Christmas tree instead. I promised Mamma Biscuit that I would make her home more Spring-like to cheer her up so despite what’s going on outside, the Easter bunny is coming out this weekend—snow or shine! At any rate, I did take the day off from work yesterday when our entire city turned into a magnificent snow globe and found enough time in the morning to take a long walk through Fort Tryon Park with Mamma Biscuit to take some portraits. I have been meaning to photograph Mamma sporting her new pink puffer jacket and a blizzard backdrop seemed to be the right time to do it. So bundle up and come take a virtual tour with us through the park. Johnny Mathis was right, it truly is a marshmallow world in the Winter!


After slipping and sliding all over a few park benches, Mamma decided she was going to prance her way through the park and get her paws into some fluffy white snow! I loved every moment of her snorting through the 8″ of snow and snowflakes falling diagonally across her face as she occasionally stuck her tongue out to taste a few. My girl, any chance she can get to eat something!


We hope you had a fun snow day! Here’s hoping for a warm-up next week so we can actually feel good about hanging Easter eggs on a tree!


Posted in Uncategorized | 10 Comments

Living for Love!


WE’RE BACK! Yes, that is the short and sweet answer to the question “where the fuck have you been?” that I assume everyone has been asking themselves for the past month or so. Seriously though, it’s been a whirlwind of life since the ball dropped in Times Square and we rang in the new year and I feel just awful for abandoning Mamma’s little corner on the web. For starters, I worked feverishly for two weeks to try and dismantle Mamma’s Christmas extravaganza at the pug palace before comfortably taking off on a glorious week vacation to Costa Rica to celebrate Tommy’s 39th birthday. That’s right y’all, Tommy is officially 39 and will be until he reaches 80, the year any normal human being stops being ashamed and begins to brag. Now to summarize Costa Rica briefly, we had a fun filled adventure throughout the playas of Tamarindo where I actually got my New York City ass to stand up on a surf board . . .well, for at least 2-seconds before I plummeted to the bottom of the rolling sea as my friends looked on, laughing at my expense. We zip lined in a superman position across the second longest zip line in the world and the longest in Latin America over the jungle canyons in Monte Verde before taking a Tarzan jump off a 150-foot cliff to end our death/torture tour. We hiked to see a 500-year old tree on the grounds of a Yoga retreat off Arenal Lake and we soaked in cold and hot springs off the active volcano in La Fortuna—all while enjoying 90-degree sunny weather the entire time. Oh, and while we were gallivanting around Central America, Miss Biscuit spent her week keeping grandma warm and cozy between her long naps, her obsessive licking and her diva demands for soft chew peanut butter treats here in New York! To say it sucks that we have returned to “historic” blizzard conditions, sub zero temperatures and an apartment full of sand and rock salt is an understatement! The only hope we have from this horrible realization that we are still in the depths of Winter and my fading suntanned skin is Valentine’s Day!


So after all the unpacking and all of the laundry and catching up with my emails, I had the strength and time to put up Mamma Biscuit’s annual Valentine’s Day tree—and boy is it a beauty. You know me, any excuse to trim a tree and I’ll find it. Actually, we have been collecting vintage Valentine’s Day cards for several years now and have turned them all into ornaments. This year, I have placed some pretty dramatic and vintage honeycomb, 3D fold-out cards in the mix! But before you scroll down to see this magnificent display, let’s talk about how utterly fabulous Mamma Biscuit looks in her new coat.


Furnished from Home section at Restoration Hardware, Mamma Biscuit is sporting this fabulous faux fur coat on the most romantic holiday of the year and leaving her daddies very worried that she might grab the attention of a gentleman pug caller in the neighborhood. I know, I’m an overbearing father so just deal with it! If the faux fur isn’t glamorous enough for you, I bet pairing that coat with a pearl pin brooch in the shape of a heart will make you change your mind.


I mean really, Mamma is giving us Drama for days despite it being so damn cold outside when we took these portraits. I hope they will make your Valentine’s Day warm and full of love!

Now onto Mamma’s epic Valentine’s Day tree. Keep scrolling people!


So that’s it folks. Mamma Biscuit and family want to wish you all a very romantic and Happy Valentine’s Day!


Make today and every day about Living for Love!


Posted in Fashion, Holiday | 7 Comments

Pin It!


Every year I tell Tommy we shouldn’t exchange gifts and every year, somehow, we give each other gifts. Whether we pepper small gifts throughout the season or present a card and a box on Christmas morning, we both never fully adhere to the rule of no gift giving. Well, let’s just say I try to adhere to the rule but Tommy always goes over and beyond leaving me to wonder what the hell he would give me if we actually didn’t have such a rule. At any rate, gift giving on Christmas is for the kids, right? I mean, I’m satisfied with just decorating the Pug Palace like an elf on steroids before snuggling with Mamma Biscuit while the yule log crackles on our TV screen and Tommy is usually satisfied with baking and spinning Bing Crosby on the record player. However, this year, the gifts I received happen to be a bit more special than any other year prior. For starters, Tommy would surprise me with box after box from day to day of beautiful, giant Christmas and Halloween ornaments—and the size and value of these ornaments are so big I may have to get insurance on them! I cannot wait to share them with you all but before I start taking photographs of these new, fabulous ornaments, I need to take everything down, so more to come on that. The one gift I do want to share with you all before the ball drops and we ring in the new year is this amazing portrait pin of Mamma Biscuit’s head from How Could You? by Mia Weiner. Weeks ago, Tommy and I stopped in at the Renegade Craft Fair and stumbled upon the How Could You? booth of embroidered goodies and quickly fell in love! I immediately started to think of which portrait of Mamma Biscuit I would like stitched up as a pin and moreover, which Tom of Finland drawing I would like embroidered for the bedroom wall. Turns out, Tommy beat me to it and made my Christmas oh so special because of it.

Here’s how it works, you send them a photograph of anything you would like to be embroidered. In our case, Tommy sent Mia the enclosed photograph.


Then you specify what you would like. In my case, Tommy specified that he wanted a pin made of just Mamma Biscuit’s face. Two weeks later, this fabulously stitched pin arrived, just in time to warm my heart for the holidays.


I was told that the pin was a gift from Mamma Biscuit herself so all I have been doing ever since receiving it is feeding her peanut butter treats and all she has been doing ever since is following me around wherever I go like a shadow! Mamma’s face is forever stitched onto this beautiful pin and her love is forever stitched into our hearts, so a big thank you to my man Tommy for making this all happen!


Mamma Biscuit and family are wishing you the happiest New Year ever. Here’s to 2015 and more of your favorite toothless pug on the Internet!


Posted in Design, Holiday, Knitware | 6 Comments