What’s taking so long Daddy? You’ve been looking at this Thai ordering menu for the last 10 minutes and you still haven’t made a decision. Jeez, I thought I was indecisive—you know, when it comes to choosing which Daddy to follow around the apartment but you surpass me by a landslide. Can’t you see I’m falling asleep between the vegetarian and curry options on the menu? Snort! You always play this game. You entertain yourself with the idea of trying something new but you never do. Just order your usual: Thai fried rice with vegetables and vegetarian duck—no eggs—those poor chickens have suffered enough. And for the little guy, order his usual: a large order of vegetable Ra-Ma and let’s be done with it! Oh, sorry about that, I swear I don’t have restless leg syndrome, I just can’t find a comfortable spot to sit on your lap. Is this menu greasy? My chin is feeling damp and my stomach is grumbling. I’ll wait for you to make the phone call before I start to squirm, shift and move around. I’ll get you to give me a few soft-chew treats—you big lug!