Our Funny Valentine!

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My funny Valentine
Sweet comic Valentine
You make me smile with my heart
Your looks are laughable
Unphotographable
Yet you’re my favorite work of art

Is your figure less than Greek
Is your mouth a little weak
When you open it to speak
Are you smart?

But don’t change a hair for me
Not if you care for me
Stay little Valentine stay
Each day is Valentine’s Day

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Valentine’s Day has finally arrived and the Biscuit Household is all a-buzz with the celebration of life, love and our very own funny Valentine! Now Frank Sinatra may have gotten it half right because our little gremlin is totally photographable and her figure matches that of any canine from Hellenic times, however, Mamma Biscuit sure does make us smile & laugh and her list of imperfections all conspire to make her one amazing little girl! Now it’s no secret to anyone out there that I’m possessive of my funny little Valentine. What can I say, I’m an Italian Daddy that dotes over her as if she were my real daughter—and quite frankly, I see no problem with that! When Valentine’s Day rolls around, I get this nauseous feeling in the pit of my stomach just wondering if Mamma’s gonna receive a bouquet of flowers or some heart-shaped box full of chocolates from some gentleman-pug-caller! Don’t give me the side-eye people, I nearly had a coronary stroke last year when Tommy played that awful trick on me by propping a box of drugstore chocolates from Russell Stover against the front door of the Pug Palace with a note written to Mamma Biscuit from her secret Valentine. Can you believe him? THE NERVE! Now if there is any dog out there in the neighborhood that has eyes for my little girl, they better come barking for my permission first before making such a bold move as sending gifts with a romantic angle attached to them! This year we decided to make Mamma Biscuit our very own special Valentine! First, I had the painstaking task of attaching a “return to sender” note to all of the flowers, candy and notes of love from all the male dogs in the neighborhood—oh and one really confused female bull dog who sports an entire wardrobe of flannel no matter what time of year it may be! There must have been a whole lot of depressed dogs dealing with rejection issues walking around Fort Tryon Park in the past week leading up to today because the Valentine’s Day gifts and cards came in by the truck load and the post office became my second home last week! Hey, what Mamma doesn’t know won’t hurt her—Jesus, when did I turn into my overbearing, immigrant father? I’m quite disgusted with myself! All kidding aside though, if I hear just one male dog bark for Mamma to “throw down her hair” alla Rapunzel from the fire escape because he’s in a romantic mood tonight, I think I might just fall off the deep end! I know, I love her too much and want her all for myself—is that such a crime?

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So today we decked our little fashion plate out with a new Valentine’s Day frock paired with a set of big pearls around her neck! Honestly, Mamma is totes giving us Michelle-Obama-White-House-Realness with this shoulder-bearing number!

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This sweet bouclé fabric is just the right amount of pink and chocolate brown to make any heart melt with cuteness-overload! I also love the black velour neckline and waistband that clasps together with a diamond-lined heart accessory! Mamma Biscuit is all about the detailing when it comes to her wardrobe— you’ve all seen her brooch collection!

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Now Mamma may not have indulged in those Valentine’s Day chocolates but she sure did receive a boat-load of treats throughout this photoshoot—peanut butter treats to be exact! After snapping these lovely Valentine’s Day portraits, we decided to deck the tree in Mamma’s living room with vintage Valentine’s Day ornaments to make her Pug Palace feel more festive!

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While I was hanging the ornaments, the Biscuit Lady fell asleep clutching her heart-shaped box of chocolates and making it a pillow to rest her chin on! So typical of our little gremlin to fall asleep after devouring treats and running around in circles in front of my camera lens for 15 minutes! The soundtrack on the stereo system was A Date With John Waters—a patchwork of dark, twisted, off-kilter love songs from the self-proclaimed master of bad taste! Tommy gifted me this signed copy for Valentine’s Day many years ago and we break it out every Valentine’s Day for a full listen!

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So that’s it folks, Mamma Biscuit and family would like to officially wish you all a very Happy Valentine’s Day! Tommy and I will be spending the evening with our little pug, nestled between us, WHERE SHE BELONGS instead of gallivanting out on the town with some secret male pug lover—she’s just not ready to date in my opinion,
maybe next year!

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Happy Valentine’s Day my sweet, funny Valentine—you’ve got a lot of class!

Enjoy

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16 Responses to Our Funny Valentine!

  1. Hi Mamma Biscuit and John!
    Happy Valentine’s Day! We loved reading this post. John, you are too funny and Mamma B you are too sweet! Our auntie wanted you to know that her friend Daina just messaged her on facebook to tell her about your blog. Daina knows about Pugs and Kisses and knew we would love Mamma Biscuit! She said she met you all at an apple orchard last year and you hit it off… Auntie said she is jealous and wished she lived in NY still so she could meet you all! You are just too much fun! Hugs to the whole Biscuit Family!
    xo~ Gretta Rose de Pug

    • The Biscuits says:

      YAY Happy Valentine’s Day to you and your adorable squad of pugs! Gretta Rose and her happy little brothers and sisters are so adogable with their different little outfits and cute, puggy expressions! We love them all! We know Daina from meeting her this past October while apple picking in upstate, NY! I love reading her blog, New York State of Mind and I included a photo of Daina in our post from that outing, link enclosed:

      http://www.mammabiscuit.com/2012/10/19/the-big-apple-in-the-apple-orchard/

      Thanks so much for all of the lovely compliments concerning Mamma Biscuit and her little corner on the web! I’ve thoroughly enjoyed your updates at Pugs and Kisses via Facebook and look forward to seeing more! A big pug hug and kiss to you, the pugs and your auntie for Valentine’s Day! Ruff Ruff!
      xo
      Mamma and the Biscuits!

  2. Steve & Milo in Miami says:

    Dearest Biscuits
    Sending much love from our dog house to yours on this Valentine’s day. Milo, with all due respect for the lady that she is, would love to sniff Momma B’s butt. We’re just sayin…
    xoxo, Steve & Milo

    BTW, thanks soooo much for the “A Date with John Waters” tip! How I could have missed such a gem mystifies me. We are surrounded by so much poor taste in Miami that somehow it obscures truly good bad taste.

    • The Biscuits says:

      LOL Steve, Milo has my permission to sniff Mamma Biscuit’s butt although I’m warning you now, she’s so indifferent to other dogs who take an interest in her! I know, she’s so cliché when she plays hard to get! I’m so glad you’re listening to A Date With John Waters! It’s an amazing album through and through! His Christmas Album is just as good, make sure to look that up! I should really contact him at some point and try to persuade him to make a spookishly ghoulish Halloween album. I just know he would come up with some amazing playlist for that holiday! Bad taste is everywhere, it’s important to recognize and appreciate the really “good” bad taste from the simply bad “bad” taste! LOL

      Happy Valentine’s Day to you and to Milo! Pug hugs and kisses from Mamma Biscuit and family!
      I would say “stay warm” but you are probably poolside with Milo while reading this so . . . stay cool you two!
      xoxo

  3. Candy says:

    MB = LOVE!!

    Happy Valentine’s Day Mamma & the Biscuits!

  4. Adorbs! Wishing you a happy Valentine’s. I’m hoping I can send this to you all: http://www.sadieshihtzu.com/photos/happy-valentines-day/

    • The Biscuits says:

      Sadie, you are so adogable in your “be Mine” Valentine’s Day portrait! Mamma is sending you a pug hug and kiss all the way from New York City! Happy Valentine’s Day!
      xoxo

  5. Courtney says:

    Mamma is such a classy Valentine!! I totally see the resemblance to FLOTUS with the bare arms – has Mamma been lifting weights?? I am constantly amazed with Mamma’s vast collection of holiday decor – how does she find the time? I hope all the Biscuits had a wonderful Valentine’s Day :)

    And lastly… let’s take a moment to remember the Valentine’s “flashback” episode of Golden Girls with Julio Iglesias, when the girls go to the nudist resort – love that one!

    • The Biscuits says:

      OMG Courtney, I love that Valentine’s Day episode of the Golden Girls LOL I really love any episode involving the girlssitting around the kitchen table running through a bunch of flash backs!

      Dorothy: “Thanks a lot Rose! This is a great Valentine’s weekend! Stuck in a hotel at a nudist camp for 10 hours.”

      Rose: “I’m sorry Dorothy, it’s all my fault! I misunderstood the brochure.”

      Dorothy pics up the brochure and reads, “‘Fun in the buff at a mountain retreat. Hike, swim and play volleyball while the sun beats down on your fanny’ Call David Horowitz, I mean, how can they get away with this misrepresentation!”

      LOL

      Happy Valentine’s Day to you too Courtney! Mamma Biscuit is sending you pug hugs and kisses all weekend long!
      xoxo

  6. Daina says:

    I seriously burst out laughing and scared my little cat Boo half to death when I read about the one really confused female bull dog who sports an entire wardrobe of flannel! Your blog is definitely one of my favorite reads. I hope you all had a wonderful Valentine’s Day! I am gearing up for the big move into Brian’s place this week- after seven years we are finally taking the plunge and moving in together! So excited!

    Also, I love that Valentine’s tree. Where on earth do you all store your holiday decor? It is all so amazing!

    • The Biscuits says:

      OMG Daina, this all sounds exciting! A new year, a new place with Brian! I can’t wait to read all about your move on your blog! I’m so glad you love reading all about Mamma’s antics here on her little corner on the web! Mamma has been breaking doggy hearts since the day she moved in with us up in the Heights and the lesbian pooches can’t resist her either! LOL I seriously have no idea where we store all of our holiday decor but I’m sure I would be classidied as a hoarder in at least 48 states! Mamma’s Valentine’s tree will be dismantled this weekend but Easter is coming up so stay tuned!
      xoxo

  7. Patty says:

    Mamma B, you looked so beautiful on Valentines Day! Hope you enjoyed your day with your dads, sweetie!
    xoxo Patty

  8. bfish says:

    Mamma and her daddies (who are awesome fashion consultants) really hit a home run with this outfit. Only a true glamor girl can pull off oversize pearls, a diamond heart-shaped broach, and a big floppy bow. Even with all that I’m sure Coco Chanel would have approved!

    • The Biscuits says:

      LOL we were concerned that Coco Chanel would have turned in her grave had we put one more piece of jewelry on Mamma Biscuit to accompany this ensemble! ;-)
      xoxo

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