A Haunted City!

HauntedCity1

If someone told me a couple of years ago that the Upper East Side (where 90% of the 1% reside on the island of Manhattan) was a hotbed for gruesome, spooky Halloween displays, I would have thought they were a misinformed tourist! But alas, I’m left to feel like the damn tourist here (along with everyone else) because it’s true, the Upper East Side is chock-full of homes bursting with Halloween displays that are so disturbing you would think they would call the authorities on each other every day until October 31st! The residents of these neighborhoods are notorious for protesting anything tame and non threatening, like craft fairs and noisy birds flying from one ivy covered brick wall to the next. They normally obsess over their Swiss bank accounts, their next Botox injection, their mistresses and general neighborhood beautification not Halloween decor. So how is it possible that the same, uptight residents have the nerve to put up such gory Halloween displays on their front door? It must be left over competitiveness that these CEOs bring home from their professional lives that drive such displays because I can’t think of any other explanation for it. I mean, we’re talking about bloody, severed heads staked through every spike on every Gothic, wrought iron gate alongside a plethora of screaming ghouls, skeletons, monsters and cobwebs stretched from every damn tree branch from 91st Street all the way down to 67th Street. Giant spiders dangling from trees and deformed zombies crawling down front door stairs are normally what would describe a horror film not some of the most expensive houses in New York City but whatever their reasons are for getting into the Halloween spirit, we’re just happy that they get into it! Now I’m guessing that most of these Tim Burtonesque displays are the product of professional designers and hundreds of dollars but you all know how much Mamma Biscuit and I love a good ol’ plastic mess no matter who put it up! It doesn’t matter what holiday it may be, if someone is obsessed enough to litter their property with tons of decorations, they’ve got me as an audience! So Tommy, Mamma Biscuit and I decided to take a stroll through these neighborhoods on Saturday to see, first hand, our city’s strange hedge-fund Halloween displays.

HauntedCity2

We started our tour at a town house on 91st Street between Park and Lexington that featured a giant, eight-foot-tall, inflatable witch guarding their front door. The seven white pumpkins with black detailing and Halloween greetings lining the steps of the staircase leading up to the giant witch seemed tame in comparison to what followed that day but that didn’t stop us from taking a few portraits of Mamma Biscuit in front looking ever so adorable in her lioness costume.

HauntedCity3
HauntedCity4
HauntedCity5
HauntedCity6

The moment I put this costume on our gremlin, I literally wanted to sing the chorus to Katy Perry’s new song Roar—that’s how perfect she looks wearing it! She’s got the eye of the tiger, a fighter, dancing through the fire, ‘cause she’s a champion and you’re gonna hear her roar, louder, louder than a lion ‘cause she’s a champion and you’re gonna hear her roar!

HauntedCity7
HauntedCity8

Our next stop on our stroll is the famous town house at 74th street owned by Marc Lasry, the co-founder of Avenue Capital. Marc and his entire family have decorated their mansion with bloodied bodies hanging from the balcony and along the scaffolding on the west side of the house, skeleton heads staked through the spikes of the cast iron fence surrounding the property, swinging bats and a life-size, clothed skeleton affixed to a tree on the sidewalk. The moment I heard about this Halloween mess I just knew I had to get our butts over there to see it in person!

HauntedCity9
HauntedCity10
HauntedCity11

We started our tour of the house by posing with Mamma Biscuit next to a 4-foot pirate skeleton positioned at the front door that shook while the audio for Super Freak played in the background. Mamma Biscuit literally shook in my arms from fright when the motion-activated device went off and the few tourists who actually showed up to see this house looked on with such amusement—some were actually taking photos of Mamma Biscuit rather than the Halloween display itself!

HauntedCity12
HauntedCity13
HauntedCity14

This over-the-top Halloween display has become a tradition for the Lasry family. Sophie Lasry, 18, one of the couple’s five children says, “It’s more of a family thing we do to stay together” regarding the seven-year family ritual of decking their house out for the season. Decorations go up every year on October 1rst and don’t come down until the day after Halloween! I hear that Trick or Treaters actually start ringing the doorbell on the morning of October 31rst!

HauntedCity15
HauntedCity17
HauntedCity16

Over the years, the only complaint they have received about the display has been to turn down the family’s favorite singing skeleton pirate that stands guard by the front door. They unplug him at night to respect their neighbors whom I suspect are incredibly uptight and extremely Republican!

HauntedCity18
HauntedCity19
HauntedCity20
HauntedCity21
HauntedCity22

We continued on with our frightful tour by walking further down Madison Avenue and passing designer boutiques showcasing beautiful clothing, shoes and jewelry and stumbled upon a few homes along the way with equally frightful displays on their front door steps. Some were of the pumpkin/cornucopia variety and some were all about cobwebs covering the entire facade of their homes—and that’s a whole lot of stretched cotton if you ask me!

HauntedCity23
HauntedCity24
HauntedCity25

We came across a home on 67th street that had a strange vignette of the Grim Reaper beside a witch overlooking two Goth children having a creepy private moment with one another. I loved how they stuffed black crows and black roses inside the bushes flanked on either side of the front steps to their home, giving their display a very Gothic/romantic twist!

HauntedCity26
HauntedCity27
HauntedCity28
HauntedCity29
HauntedCity30
HauntedCity32

The only thing that makes Tommy really happy during the Halloween season is a good bat display and a home on 67th street did not disappoint. There were so many bats and monsters lodged between branches on every tree in front of their home that if I were a resident and the forecast called for high-winds, I would worry!

HauntedCity34
HauntedCity31
HauntedCity333

So this concludes our tour of the hedge fund Halloween displays on the Upper East Side. These scary, bloody, horrifying displays are not only there to frighten you to get into the spirit of Halloween, they are there to warn you of the perils of wealth and capitalism! I had to keep reminding Mamma Biscuit not to get too cozy walking on such clean streets. Why you ask? Because we’ll never be royals!

Enjoy and Happy Haunted Hump Day!

This entry was posted in Holiday, NYC Life, Oddities. Bookmark the permalink.

14 Responses to A Haunted City!

  1. Funaek says:

    Mamma Biscuit looks ADORABLE in her costume! Especially when she has her lil back paws tucked into your hands!

    • The Biscuits says:

      I know, I love piling her paws into a bunch and holding her like a stuffed toy! She’s very accommodating when it comes to holing her LOL

    • SweetiePug says:

      Ha! That’s what struck us as the most adorable part of the post as well. Little feeties tucked up in man-hands. A lucky pug, and even luckier dads to have her.

      Snorts and snuffles from SweetiePug xx

      • The Biscuits says:

        It’s really amazing how one can tuck and fold a pug’s legs and paws so compactly considering they are generally a beefy breed! LOL We sure are lucky to have her Sweetie Pug! xoxo

  2. Courtney says:

    LOVE the Halloween displays – I was hoping you’d do a post with them again this year. And Mamma looks adorable, as usual – love the skeleton outfits her daddies wore, too! I’m with Tommy – bats are my favorite! In Virginia, we have a lot of caverns you can tour and some of them are filled with bats all sleeping in the ceiling. It’s so neat to see them. There needs to be a Christmas bat so we can decorate with bats for more holidays… can we make up a story about one a la Krampus and start a trend??

    • The Biscuits says:

      OMG, a cavern tour with bats hanging from the ceiling sounds amazing! Where in Virginia do such caverns exist? We got our skeleton jeans from Trash & Vaudville (a legendary punk store in the East Village) many years ago and I’m just thrilled that I can actually still fit in them LOL There must be some culture out there that has already appropriated bats for the Christmas season, I’ll run a light search through Google later this afternoon to see if I come up with anything!!! xo

      • Courtney says:

        There are a bunch of them all over – Endless Caverns has the most bats, but Luray Caverns is supposed to be the biggest on the East Coast, I think. They are both in the Northwest part of the state. It looks like there are some near you guys, too – Howe Caverns – you should make a road trip with Mamma!!

  3. Jana says:

    You’re in my old hood; however I was not 1%…
    MB is the QUEEN BEE.

  4. Lazar says:

    Amazing! NY is fantastic!…One great thing about this blog is that I learned a lot about NY life and culture…to be honest, selebration of Halloween is not very common for this part of the world :)…but, that “creatures” are so freaking great…I can imagine how city looks in dark :)

    • The Biscuits says:

      I’m glad you love the topics we choose to write about here in NYC with Mamma Biscuit! Halloween is huge in our country, especially in NYC, and we love everything about it! From the costumes to the decorations but mostly, we love any holiday where people get obsessed over it! xoxo

  5. Daina says:

    Wow, these decorations are amazing! Any favorite blocks on the upper east side? We are thinking of taking Emily this coming weekend if the weather is nice. I have never seen the decorations before and am looking forward to it!

    I hope you guys had a wonderful weekend apple picking upstate! Looking forward to seeing your pictures from Wilklow.

    • The Biscuits says:

      Hey there Daina,
      If you guys check out these decorations, make sue you go directly to the house on 74th street, that’s a major one to see! You guys will die from the insanity of it all! We had the perfect day apple picking on Sunday. There wasn’t a cloud in the sky and there were plenty of apples left to pick! Tommy and I brought home a boat-load of apples and a giant pumpkin! The post will go live at the end of the week! I saw your photos of your day apple picking and I thought they were beautiful! We will have to meet up sometime in November I just feel like time slips right through my fingers when it comes to the Fall into Winter seasons! xoxo

      • Daina says:

        Thanks, I will definitely check out 74th Street!

        So happy to hear you had a great day apple picking. We already ate all of our apples and enjoyed making several baked apple treats! Next year we should coordinate for sure; it would be lovely to meet up there again! I will email soon about a quick coffee/walk with you three. I know what you mean about time flying by! Fall and winter are always so busy. Hope you are having a great week!

        Daina

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *