Pug at the Plaza!


Check in at the Plaza Hotel is at 1pm Miss Biscuit, shall we hold your luggage at the front desk while you wait for your penthouse suite?

Ruff Ruff, I have one Louis Vuitton travel trunk full of doggy couture and a satchel full of soft chew treats. Guard them with your life! I’m heading out with my two daddies to prance around the hotel grounds so that I can have my photograph taken. I’ll be back in 30 minutes, capisce?

Yes Miss Biscuit. We have been anxiously waiting for your arrival!


Now Mamma Biscuit would normally demand entrance to her room immediately upon arriving at any hotel no matter what time it was. She would bark up a storm until someone at the front desk would give in completely and simply put the key card in her mouth just to get rid of her relentless ass! I guess old age has softened her demanding Diva ways because she’s agreed to wait and I’m totally shocked! It’s as if Joanna Staten played by Goldie Hawn in the movie Overboard has woken up from her amnesia and is suddenly more accommodating! Now Mamma’s got a full schedule ahead of her for the next couple of days so this penthouse suite better be up to par with her usual standards. Surprisingly, her list of demands are pretty reasonable: 1200 thread count Egyptian cotton sheets lining her doggy bed, fresh cut orchids in every room, a cabinet filled with soft-chew treats and a couple of young, svelte, male pugs “on call” in case she wants “company” in the late hours of the night . . . oh and her cocaine dealer on speed-dial—because after a full day of upper crust activities with the NYC socialite elite, our Biscuit Lady likes to crash back at her hotel room with her friends Peter Gatien, Kate Moss, Edina Monsoon, Patsy Stone, Liza Minelli and a party bag of some
good China white!


Now about those upper crust activities Mamma has planned during the day, they include a few charity luncheons with Carole Radziwill from the Real Housewives of New York City (both will undoubtedly have a good laugh at how desperate the Countess LuAnn de Lesseps is to get her hands on a free Naeem Khan dress straight from the designer), two private fashion shows at their respective work studios (designers will remain a secret, sorry), a meeting with Rachel Zoe to discuss a possible styling gig for the upcoming Summer season and a dinner with Anna Wintour to discuss the current rise of fur used in fashion and how she could/should encourage and promote more compassionate treatment of animals regarding the fashion industry! Yeah, and you all thought Mamma Biscuit slept all day—hell-to-the-no! Our Biscuit is a hard-hitting player and practically runs this town!


So off went the bellhop dragging Mamma’s giant LV trunk that could make anything Mariah Carey would consider luggage look like a duffle bag and we headed outdoors to take a few photographs of our glamorous pooch!


Now onto our glamorous gremlin. Some may say that fur is making a come back, we say FUCK FUR! It does not connote wealth, luxury, style or high design. In fact, all it does is support a cruel industry of animal exploitation—sentient beings that are skinned alive to make full fur garments or accents to other garments! Real fur is stale, ugly and so OVER! No one in their right mind would want to wear a coat made out of Mamma Biscuit, why would anyone want one made out of mink, fox or raccoon? You want the same look, go faux! Mamma’s all about fake fur and fake fashion and in these photographs, she’s all about polyester, the “other” fabric of our lives! This grey fur-like dress/coat makes our little Biscuit Lady look more glamorous and wealthy than a typical Russian woman walking through Red Square in head-to-toe fur!


Totally fitting for a Plaza Hotel arrival, Mamma sauntered around the Grand Army Plaza wearing this faux fur-looking dress/coat paired with a vintage diamond circle brooch. If that wasn’t fabulous enough, this garment is quilted with muted silver sequin lines that add another level of sophistication! So eat your heart out SJP because you never looked this damn good in any episode of Sex and the City! OK, maybe Mamma’s frock doesn’t look that much like faux fur but I’m all for skinning teddy bears to make a garment than real animals, so cut me some slack here, OK! I just hope that last comment won’t get Mamma Biscuit in trouble with PETTB—People for the Ethical Treatment of Teddy Bears! Hey, you never know when a gang of plushies turn the corner and throw red paint all over your ensemble!


Pomona, atop the Pulitzer memorial fountain was dry as a bone but we did take a few regal photos of Mamma Biscuit in front of the golden equestrian statue of William Tecumseh Sherman designed by Augustus Saint-Gaudens. The statue features Sherman on a horse with “Victory” in front of him pointing the way forward. There is nothing more victorious to Mamma Biscuit than rocking a sophisticated, elegant, high fashion look that is 100% cruelty-free!


Those 30 minutes went by really fast because before we knew it, The Plaza was ready for Mamma to check in! After 5 years of living in this city, Mamma Biscuit has become such an NYC icon that she practically shares the same level of importance as the Empire State Building!


Our gremlin may be a ‘round the way girl from the dirty streets of Washington Heights at heart but she sure knows how to clean up and hang with the 1%!


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24 Responses to Pug at the Plaza!

  1. Shannon says:

    This is my favorite outfit of Mama’s yet! She looks fantastic.

    • The Biscuits says:

      Thank you Shannon! We actually have another similar coat/dress made by the same label that is off white! It has teh same black bow around teh waist but instead of the quilting affect it has singular diamonds spread out across the garment! I’ll save that for another post! ;-) Welcome to our comments section! xoxo

  2. Patty says:

    Hi Biscuit family! I’ve got to say, these photos of MammaB are fabulous! She could give any model on the runway a run for their money! Go Mamma!! xoxo Patty

    • The Biscuits says:

      Awww Thanks so much Patty! Mamma felt so snug and warm in that coat/dress that she practically refused to take it off! Our girl sure loves her glamorous frocks! I should have taken photos of the crowd of onlookers behind me as I was taking Mamma’s photograph! We were in front of the Plaza Hotel on a Sunday and the tourists were out in full force! xoxo

  3. Serena says:

    I couldn’t stop thinking throughout this post “Your girl looks lovely Hubble”.

    Mamma has never looked better – what an awesome shoot. Let’s hope the PETTB don’t catch on ;)


    • The Biscuits says:

      Thanks so much Serena! I love this dramatic, glamourous look on our funny little pug! I’m hoping she doesn’t stir the pot with PETTB either LOL fingers crossed! Pug hugs to you and Soda from Mamma and family!

  4. Jana says:

    How very Madam Albright; what a dame!

  5. Candy says:

    MB is so classy! She looks like she could own the Plaza!

    Check this out: http://www.buzzfeed.com/theboogieman/pugs-are-the-sexiest-dog-breed-alive-9h58

    …. and how did MB not make this list?! http://www.buzzfeed.com/hamiltonpug/10-pugs-to-watch-in-2013-6vhw

    • The Biscuits says:

      I saw both of these Buzzfeed posts but I agree, Mamma should have been part of that watch list for pugs in 2013! She was totally robbed of a spot on that post LOL Now about Mamma Biscuit and the Plaza Hotel, she owns a few stock shares in that hotel company so that has to count for something ;-)

      • bfish says:

        Yeah Mamma was robbed!!! But I must say it’s quite disillusioning to learn of Mamma’s partying-like-it’s-the-eighties activities. At least you’ve kept her image pretty clean all this time; I suppose with that extra long tongue Mamma B. can easily remove the vestiges of white powder off her nose.

        • The Biscuits says:

          LOLOL let’s just say Mamma Biscuit has one hell of a publicist! In fact, if Lindsey Lohan hired the same publicist as Mamma, she would be in better shape in the tabloids! xoxo

  6. Mamma looks REGAL in that beautiful coat. Mwah!

  7. Steve & Milo in Miami says:

    Dearest Biscuits,
    I do hope that Mamma and her Biscuits enjoyed a delightful stay at the Plaza.
    I would expect that Mamma B would hang with Carole Radziwill. They share a down to earth, effortless elegance. I must say that in many of these shots of Mamma I see an uncanny resemblance to Countess LuAnn de Lesseps. Perhaps you could check their respective blood lines. I suspect they have common (but not common) ancestry.
    I am rather surprised that Mamma has not been approached to participate in RHONY. She certainly leads a more interesting and glamorous life than most of the current wannabes. She could lend the show some much needed vitality but perhaps the whole affair is just too tawdry for her image.
    Steve & Milo

    • The Biscuits says:

      LOL Steve & Milo! There is nothing too tawdry or low brow for our Mamma Biscuit! After all, we love John Waters here at the Pug Palace, the pope of filth! I’m hoping that Mamma Biscuit does not share any ancestry with the Countess LuAnn de Lesseps. I mean, we have nothing against Native Americans, we just don’t care for LuAnn’s elitism because there’s simply no irony to it! I agree though that the RHONY could use a boost in glamour and class by adding Mamma Biscuit to the cast! Mamma was very pleased with her stay at the Plaza Hotel although she complained about the small portions during breakfast, lunch and dinner!
      Mamma Biscuit!

      • Steve & Milo in Miami says:

        Dearest Biscuits
        I am sorry to here that Mamma found the meal portions lacking, although I would think that the China white would make that less toublesome. I do hope that the stud pugs provided were to her liking.
        We too worship the pope of filth! We have had the pleasure of making his acquaintance at a Provincetown film fest some years back. I have fond memories of Divine sashaying along Commercial Street many afternoons back in the early 80’s in the most glamorous of Muumuu’s. That queen OWNED the street! It may have taken some years, but our dear Mr. Waters has brought filth out of the shadows and into the (almost) mainstream of pop culture. We will forever be grateful.
        We have little tolerance for poor taste, but we adore BAD taste…
        yours in filth,
        Steve & Milo

        • The Biscuits says:

          LOL Mamma’s appetite has always been verocious—even after binging with her party friends on the China white! I loved reading about your memories in Provincetown with John Waters and Divine, “The Filthiest Woman Alive”
          Dawn Davenport really wanted her Cha Cha Heels and when her parents didn’t get them for her on that fateful Christmas morning, it all spiraled out of control for her didn’t it? LOL I’ve seen John Waters perform several times, once in Provincetown and we are such devoted fans! You are totally right about Mr. Waters practically making filth and dark irony mainstream in pop culture! The man is a genius although he is such a petist (I have no idea if that’s even a word) LOL he thinks that pet animals having to endure the heavy petting and general adoration from their human owners is repulsive LOL GUILTY AS CHARGED IN THIS CORNER! Tommy and I have a funny memory of John Waters biking down Commercial Street zig-zagging and generally getting in the way of any tourist or car in his path—I love that man!

  8. Steve & Milo in Miami says:

    Dearest Biscuits
    Dawn Davenport’s Christmas tantrum over those damn cha-cha heels is one of my favorite movie scenes! Life was not exactly a bed of roses for her daughter Taffy.
    Mr. Waters is brilliant, though I must respectfully disagree with his position on pets. Milo and I enthusiastically support heavy petting and general adoration.
    yours in filth,
    Steve & Milo

    • The Biscuits says:

      LOLOL I forgot about Taffy! That scene where Dawn and her girlfriends drag her up to the attic and tie her to a bed because she was misbehaving was seriously one of the most satisfying yet totally disturbing movie scenes in all of American cinema in my opinion! I totally disagree with John’s positions on pets too! I just remember sqirming in my seat as he went on his comical tirade regarding the gays and their dogs LOL The entire audience gasped considering the show took place in Provincetown during Gay Pride week in August LOL

  9. Steve & Milo in Miami says:

    Dearest Biscuits,
    All this reminiscing has me longing to review the works of said Mr. Waters. I shall order in a pallet of bonbons and a case of Asti Spumante in preparation for a weekend retrospective of his cinematic genius. Milo & I shall spend the weekend in glorious filth.
    Steve & Milo

    • The Biscuits says:

      Mamma also suggests you read Role Models and Crack Pot by John Waters if you haven’t already! They are both such amazing books but we especially love his chapter on Christmas in Crackpot! The man is insane LOL Have fun reliving those great movies, we might just do the same here at the Pug Palace! xo

  10. Suzy says:

    Mama B is rocking that faux fur! And her brooch is to die for! Enjoy your lovely stay at the Plaza-I’m sure you were the toast of the town :)

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