Jersey Sure!


I may be a New York City boy and Mamma Biscuit may be a New York City pooch but there is a whole lot of Jersey love when it comes to the consumption of reality TV at the Pug Palace. I mean, the George Washington Bridge is just a stones throw away from our front door connecting Manhattan to the unruly state, and no matter how hard I try to suppress it, I’ll always remain a guido at heart—even with this giant hairy upper lip of mine! Now Mamma Biscuit and I love lounging in front of the tube to watch our beloved Jersey related shows. We have watched everything from Cake Boss to Jersey Shore and Jerseylicious to the ongoing seasons of the Real Housewives of New Jersey and let me tell you, we feed our cawfee talk addiction on the regular. With that said, these Italian-American shows go beyond the borders of New Jersey and into scarier territory like Staten Island and Long Island—or as I like to call it, wrong island in front of Tommy to make him mad! Shows like Long Island Medium (Theresa Caputo is such a fraud) and Mob Wives (Big Ang is my hero and I actually designed her book cover) really inspire me when it comes to the contemporary guidette look. Long nails, poofy hair, giant gold jewelry, leopard-print-everything and harsh, ill-applied make-up seems to be the uniform throughout. Every garment is too short and too tight and the neckline is almost always plunging showcasing some of the biggest breasts I have seen on basic cable. Anyway, several weeks prior, Mamma Biscuit and I popped into Popcorn Paws (our version of Kim D’s Posche Boutique) and stumbled upon this leopard-print shirt that just screams Olivia from Jerseylicious. If you have no idea who and what I’m talking about then I suggest you stop reading this post because it’s only going to get more specific. As Mrs. Giove from Jerseylicious would say, “SHOW SOME RESPECT.”


Teresa Giudice from the Real Housewives of New Jersey has called Mamma Biscuit seeking legal advice about the charges brought upon her and her husband Juicy Joe for tax fraud and Mamma needed something to wear that would make that dishonest, hairy monkey with no forehead comfortable and at ease—so our little gremlin plans on wearing this leopard-print shirt in lavender with sequins, what do you all think? It may not be skintight enough and I may have styled it with a tasteful brooch but I think the sequins and leopard are tacky enough to distract Teresa into convincing her to stop lying to the government. I swear, when I brought Mamma Biscuit into the park to take these pictures, I had Melissa Gorga’s god-awful song On Display playing in my head. I just love that Mamma Biscuit can go from Vogue couture to this crap and still maintain a sense of confidence and grace—it’s really what makes out little spumoni face timeless!


So as I was snapping my camera at Mamma Biscuit during this photoshoot in the park and really channeling our love of New Jersey, a pedestrian stopped behind me to enjoy the cuteness of it all. She said, “looks like your pug is ready for her close-up” and as I turned to see who it was, I nearly fell over. Julianne Moore gave me a wink before walking off into Fort Tryon Park. YES, you read that right, I said Julianne Moore. In a matter of seconds, Mamma and I were transported right back into NYC because you know a celebrity sighting like that would never happen in New Jersey!


New season of the Real Housewives of New Jersey starts on Sunday, July 13th—can’t wait!


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4 Responses to Jersey Sure!

  1. Chris S says:

    Hello Biscotti Family, Mamma is looking real classy in her pink leopard blouse and bejeweled brooch. The only thing that could make her even more over the top Guidette Fab would be a pair of black leggings or a too tight, too short for her age, black skirt. Some form of bouffant coiff would also be appropriate. And lets not forget her nails, they need to get did too. No matter what Mamma wears, she can light up the room and command attention.
    Now about Lawn Guyland, I’m with Tommy on that one. You guys need to pack Mamma up and pay a visit to the Northfork or Fire Island off the southern part or Shelter Island. There are some beautiful beaches,vineyards and all kinds of great shopping in these areas. There are also pet friendly BnBs. There is a great store in Southold called Dog Town and one in Port Jefferson (home of the Pug Pack) Fetch dog Boutique. They have everything for the well appointed dog. Thanks you guys and Mamma for your little day brightener, keep up the good work,
    Christine, Dieter, Winston and Ramona.

    • The Biscuits says:

      LOL I love that you greeted us with, “Hello Biscotti Family” considering I’m always calling Mamma Biscuit, Mamma Biscotti! My mom calls her that because she’s an immigrant from Calabria, Italy! Make no mistake Christine, we love “Lawn Guyland” too, especially places like Fire Island but I do intend to look up Dog Town and Fetch Dog Boutique for sure—Mamma Biscuit can always use another frock in her fabulous closet! Have a great weekend and many pug hugs and kisses to you and yours! xoxo

  2. bfish says:

    I think that’s a real cute frock and wouldn’t dream of making fun of it. NJ people, now that’s another story. However, I gotta say I lived there (Monmouth Co. and Morris Co.) for 4.5 years ending in 1980 and I still miss things about the place. I know it’s crazy but the attributes outweighed the negatives; it really is unfairly maligned by folks in other parts of the country (many of whom have, at most, driven through)!

    • The Biscuits says:

      LOL YES, this post is merely written in jest about New Jersey. I actually have many friends who live in New Jersey and I love certain sections like Mont Claire among other places. xoxo

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