Granny Chic . . . I think!

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There are many ways for Mamma Biscuit to close out the Summer of 2014 and unfortunately, she’s chosen to do so by wearing this hideous knitted poncho that can only be described as something Barbara Jean would wear on the sitcom Reba! Seriously y’all, I don’t think our fashionable gremlin has ever been vulnerable in landing herself on any worst dress list before but if Joan Rivers and the entire panel on Fashion Police get a glimpse of these photos, she’s good as toast. OK, before you go ahead and make assumptions about Mamma’s first (and hopefully last) fashion faux pas please consider this, I did not have anything to do with selecting this poncho. In fact, Tommy was the one who had a serious love affair with this knitted monstrosity while perusing the racks of a doggy boutique in Kentucky several weeks ago during our junking tour through the Midwest—more to come on that in a future post. We were walking through a flea market in a small town located right across the Ohio River in Kentucky when we stumbled upon a cute doggy boutique selling clothes and naturally, I plowed through the doors with the excitement of a lotto winner looking to cash in on his prize. Let’s just say that I picked up a super chic Autumnal dress for our little Biscuit Lady that has “Thanksgiving-in-Connecticut” written all over it. Now while I was looking for something fabulous and couture, Tommy went ahead and pulled this knitted poncho out from what looked like the discount bin and screamed, “she has to have this.”

Really? Mamma Biscuit has to have THIS?!?

At this point, your knee deep in this post and these photos so I don’t think I have to go any further here—we bought the damn poncho, partly because I have a sense of humor and partly because Tommy was unyielding! If that wasn’t bad enough, when I was styling Mamma for this shoot, Tommy continued on with his commentary by saying, “she looks like she’s dressed for a cool sunset at the beach in the Hamptons during Labor Day weekend”

Again, really?

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I’ve never been to the Hamptons before and I don’t want to discourage Tommy for building up a narrative in his head about this poncho but I would assume that no one is wearing a knitted poncho (especially one that looks like this) to watch the sunset on a cool late afternoon in the Hamptons—OR ANYWHERE FOR THAT MATTER! Ok, maybe Barbara Jean might be wearing such a poncho but that’s only if Reba had an episode revolving the Labor Day weekend—and I don’t quite remember ever seeing one. YES, I watch Reba and YES I love it and NO, I don’t have any shame about it either!

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So there I was, clicking away on my camera as Mamma was modeling this knitted poncho and trying to convince myself that this was somehow an Anthropologie look. Was it comical to see Mamma work this knitted tent while almost tripping over that tasseled yarn edge, YES. Was it high fashion, HELL NO! Notice how I made matters worse by adorning the poncho with a brooch in the shape of a tube of red lipstick. SASSY isn’t it?

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The whole look is just so strange but instead of shelving this photoshoot and locking it away in the Mamma Biscuit Vault (yes, there is such a thing and no, you can’t have access to it) I decided to entertain you all with the hilarity of this and to bring a smile to your face as the Summer of 2014 concludes. Don’t worry about Mamma Biscuit though, she’ll bounce back from this fashion faux pas!

Enjoy and Happy Labor Day!

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15 Responses to Granny Chic . . . I think!

  1. T-Pup says:

    The baby girl without a chance
    A victim of the circumstance
    The one who oughta give up
    But she’s just too hard headed
    A single mom who works two jobs
    Who loves her kids and never stops
    With gentle hands and a heart of a fighter
    Mamma’s a survivor
    xxx

    • The Biscuits says:

      She sure is a survivor although let’s hope Joan Rivers pulls through and survives herself so she can properly tear down Mamma’s poncho look here on Fashion police!

      xoxo

  2. Kristin Shoemaker says:

    Well, it can’t ever be said I have any fashion sense (I am a 41 year old woman with a Domokun hoodie who longs only for pants with FUNCTIONAL POCKETS, DAMMIT!)… but Mamma looks pretty happy in her hideous poncho. I think her lovely lolly tongue matches the pinks so well you can overlook the overall shapelessness.

    I can only imagine my similarly tonguey Penny in this attire… I know what would happen. She’d get her feet tangled and lay there like a pug enchilada, begging to be freed and carried home and fed some doggy Hagen Daas to hide from her shame. Or just because.

    On to fall,
    Kristin and Penelope Glottis

    • The Biscuits says:

      LOL Kristen! I will say this, Mamma Biscuit sure knows how to work any ensemble, either on the runway or a park bench but when she did stumble a bit in this hideous poncho, she just sat down into it and curled up like it was a snuggie/blanket so that’s convenient for a breed of dog that sleeps 22 hours a day! Perhaps we should send this to Penny to enjoy? She can eat that Hagen Daas while sleeping in the poncho, a win-win situation if you ask me!
      xoxo

      The Biscuits

  3. Chris S says:

    The pancho is kind of craptastic, but no matter…the B Lady looks fabulous in everything she wears. She has even managed to coordinate it with her epic tongue. While we are working the granny chic thing, how awesome would it be to find a house coat (like an Italian grandmother would wear) and rhinestone cat eye glasses? I would so love to dress Ramona that way for Halloween! Now that I think about it, I had a pancho very much like this that my Aunt Gloria knitted/crocheted back in the 70’s with coordinating vests for my brothers (that we hid). You never know, Mamma may start a new trend! Maybe Tommy was on to something. I am sure Mamma’s “Thanksgiving in Connecticut ” ensemble will be stunning too. Enjoy your Labor Day weekend Biscuit Family! Pugs and Kisses, Christine, Winston,Dieter and Ramona (the Pug Pack)

    • The Biscuits says:

      LOL despite the fact that I come from a very Italian family, I haven’t had a chance to really dress Mamma Biscuit up as an old Italian lady from the mountain country! I think you should totally dress Ramona like that for Halloween! Speaking of Halloween, I am tirelessly working on Mamma’s costume and it’s gonna be epic I tell you . . . EPIC! I seriously hope you are right though, I hope Mamma starts a trend of knitted ponchos for dogs! I hope the hideous trend will sweep the nation LOL
      xoxo

  4. Funaek says:

    What I would give for access to the Mamma Biscuit Vault!

    • The Biscuits says:

      That Vault is pretty secure although I suspect one could gain access just by dangling a peanut butter treat in front of Mamma Biscuit. She’s regular Nelson Mandela when it comes to standing her ground, until of course, food is involved!

  5. Patty says:

    Mamma sure looks so darn cute! But I think so no matter what she is wearing! lol! You could lose yourself looking into her eyes!

    xoxo Patty

  6. bfish says:

    The disembodied Mamma Biscuit head is so funny, or maybe it’s appalling! On dogs and people, ponchos remind me of a tablecloth designed for umbrella tables (hole in the middle for patio umbrella pole). I wouldn’t be caught dead in such a look and I’m no trend-setter, so I really feel for Momma. Anyway, I hope you got some concessions from Tommy for agreeing — surely against your better judgment — to this questionable purchase and then, compounding the indignity, indulging him by doing the photo shoot with MB!

    • The Biscuits says:

      LOLOL Despite how horrifying this poncho is, Mamma is a true professional! She showed up to the photoshoot like a seasoned model, struck a pose or three, retrieved her peanut butter treats and was on her way! Naomi Campbell can learn a thing or two from our little Biscuit Lady! ;-)

      • bfish says:

        LOL yourself — yes, Mamma Biscuit is much too refined and professional to resort to phone throwing or other tantrums, no matter how egregious are the fashions she must sell to the adoring public!

  7. Edwin Torres says:

    Greetings! Just wanted to share Momma Biscuit on a New York Times article i photographed this past weekend for hudson heights. Please check out the link below and share. Mamma Biscuit is a huge part of the neighborhood.
    Thanks again.

    http://www.nytimes.com/2014/10/19/realestate/affordable-manhattan-in-hudson-heights.html?_r=0#slideshow/100000003173930/100000003173937

    • The Biscuits says:

      Hey there Edwin,

      Thanks so much for sharing Mamma Biscuit in the New York Times! She is very much a part of Washington Heights and this photo of us is hilarious LOL I’m sharing it all with my friends, family and fans!
      YAY
      xoxo

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