Mamma’s Quinceañera . . . Not Really!


It’s been such long time since we’ve given you all an update on Mamma’s life but we are back(ish) to say the least. I have no doubt that you all thought that Mamma’s little corner on the web here was tapering off, or worse, that she fell seriously ill but fortunately, neither of those two thoughts are true. You see, on New Years Eve, I made a resolution of giving myself a much needed blog hiatus. We have been trucking along, nonstop, since 2011 and I just needed some time off to relax, regroup and find some new inspiration. It’s also been a very busy four months for me professionally (working on Grace Jones’ memoir has been taxing to say the least) as well as socially, and blogging is like having a second job. So I hope you all can forgive us although after viewing this post, I have a feeling you won’t even remember our absence. A few things have changed since our last encounter with the Easter bunny. For starters, I shaved my giant beard off. I woke up one morning and simply decided to buzz it off. When I was finished, there was hair everywhere in my bathroom and Mamma Biscuit was standing by the doorway with glassy eyes as if she had been sobbing under the noise of my buzzer. That little gremlin of ours really enjoyed warming up her snout within the folds of my facial hair all Winter long so my bare face traumatized her. To console her, I had to remind her that I’m Italian and within a week or so, half of what I had shaved off would be right back on my face. And so here I am now, writing about a shaved beard that is practically back on my face, and Mamma is happy as a clam about it although with this Summer heat, she just admires my facial hair from a distance.


But enough about me. After visiting the Easter Bunny in late March, all Mamma Biscuit could do for the next four months was bark on and on about wanting an extravagant Quinceañera for her birthday this year. Seriously, the arguments at the Pug Palace have resembled several from a few episodes of MTV’s Sweet Sixteen. You see, this is exactly what happens when you live in the little Dominican Republic of New York City, and for me, the thought of spending all of that money on a Quinceañera makes me want to vomit. The money is an obvious issue but then all of these horrible vignettes of aggressive brides alla “My Big Fat Gypsy Wedding” flood my head when I think of such an event leaving me just as frustrated as Mamma Biscuit was when I flat out denied the request. Somehow though, Mamma got it in her head that she wanted one. I bet it had something to do with that pack of female chihuahuas she hung out with at the dog run several months ago. They were yapping in her ear, setting off all sorts of expensive ideas about how we should celebrate Mamma’s 15th birthday. At one point, I had to sit her down and give her a talk about how it’s not a good idea to have people tack money to her dress at her birthday party—money that I would inevitably use to pay for the party because we do not belong to the 1% of the Latino community. On the bright side though, the only thing I would sincerely approve of is having a piñata in the shape of Donald Trump at her party so that we can honor the Latino culture the right way (by violently bashing the head of that comb-over bigot) instead of appropriating it the wrong way. Thankfully, the moment I put Mamma Biscuit into one of those frilly, cake-like gowns, she frowned in disapproval. Thank goodness she has impeccable taste in clothing because I entertained the thought long enough for her to see that it was a bad idea and a typical Quinceañera dress really put everything in perspective for our little Biscuit Lady.


So after much debate, we all settled with the idea of having a small and intimate celebration for Mamma Biscuit instead of a crazy Quinceañera and I found this amazing mint green seer sucker dress with peach flower accent and dramatic balloon neckline (a Martha Stewart original) to mark the special occasion—all without compromising her Halloween costume budget. I know, I’m good like that! Now this dress is part Vivienne Westwood and part wealthy-woman-at-the-vineyard-in-the-Hampton’s. Mamma Biscuit is ready to ring in her 15th birthday with tons of style and panache wearing this number, don’t you think?


On a reflective note, I cannot believe that Tommy and I have had this little gremlin in our lives for the last 8 years and I could never imagine life without her. Mamma Biscuit is so much a part of who Tommy and I are, not only as people, but as New Yorkers. She’s an incredibly special pooch who captures the hearts of the young and the old and can bring even the most masculine of men to their knees from her unbearable cuteness.


After taking these portraits of Mamma Biscuit wearing her fabulous frock in the park, Tommy decided to surprise her with a wild berry doughnut from Dun-Well Doughnuts, a vegan doughnut bakery in Brooklyn. My mom, dad, brother and Tommy sang Happy Birthday to our hungry Biscuit lady who looked on with bulging eyes at the sugary concoction and bowl of honeydew melon, waiting to be devoured after our song was through.


So here’s to Mamma Biscuit and her 15th birthday. The actual day is July 11th, the day we picked her up from Curly Tail Pug Rescue 8 years ago. We decided to celebrate and post something a week early so you all can enjoy the festivities of Mamma’s 15th birthday. Make sure you all go out and do something special to mark the day your favorite toothless pug on the Internet found true family love, and the day this very creature rescued us!


Happy Birthday Mamma Biscuit!

You’re only fifteen
But you’re my teenage queen
You’re the prettiest, loveliest girl Ive ever seen


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13 Responses to Mamma’s Quinceañera . . . Not Really!

  1. Christine says:

    We are glad you are all well! Mamma is a vision to behold in her seersucker frock! She looks like she is ready to head off into town to the shops on Nantucket. You did the right thing by not giving into a splashy quincenra, but the sweet sixteen will be rearing it’s head next year. Hope the pace slows down at the House of Biscuit this summer so the three of you can relax and go somewhere this summer. Give Mamma a birthday kiss for us! Happy Birthday Mamma B!!! Christine, Ramona, Dieter and Winston.

    • The Biscuits says:

      LOL Yes, Mamma does have an air of afternoon shopping in Nantucket—antiquing shopping actually followed by a lobster roll lunch. She’s just looking for that special lace handkerchief to place over her head for the hot, sunny Summer months ahead of her! Thanks so much for the birthday greetings and many pug hugs and kisses to you and yours!

  2. Kristin Shoemaker says:

    Mamma looks fabulous! I wouldn’t have expected her to look quite so dashing in a mint green, being that she’s an autumn (is that right? My husband actually knows more on that than I do, his mom was a big subscriber to the complexion/season pallette thing)… But it’s Mamma, so why wouldn’t she be lovely in any state?

    Happy birthday to the fine lady… Penny turned twelve in February, and we’ve had her six years now (quite nearly adopted her on her actual birthday)… My only regrets about my rescues ever is that I don’t get to have those early years back to spend with them… but it makes time more special now. More special? Specialer?

    You guys are an inspiration… we finally took a vacation (first in seven years) with our little ankle magnets. Penny got to ride in her stroller (like a damn PRINCESS, we’ve created a monster,I tell you) on the scenic Maine coastline. Not sure how/if links will post, but I will give it a go. Lolly tongues, unite!

    • Kristin Shoemaker says:

      It didn’t link. Oops.

      You guys rock, and much love to you and Mamma…
      Kristin, Paul, Penny and Eddie

      • The Biscuits says:

        Oh my goodness, you two pups are so adorable and your photos of the vacation off the coast of Maine are amazing! There is nothing better than traveling with our canine companions and Tommy and I try our hardest to make that happen when we can. Thank you so much for your birthday greeting to Mamma and just so you know, both Penny and Mamma Biscuit deserve to be princesses! LOL

  3. Patty says:

    Is it possible that Mamma has gotten even more fabulous since the last photos at Easter? Looks like she has gone to the spa and just feels so wonderful that it shines from her pretty eyes. Happy Birthday dear Mamma B!

    xoxo your friend from NJ, Patty

    • The Biscuits says:

      Thank you Patty. Yes, I have always suspected that Mamma Biscuit has been aging in reverse, like the curious case of Benjamin Button. She’s 15 and yet acts like a puppy! Thank you for your birthday greeting and many pug hugs and kisses to you! xo

  4. Suzy says:

    Happy birthday to the prettiest Mama Biscuit in all the land! MWAH xx

  5. bfish says:

    Oh my, I am so glad to find the return of Mamma Biscuit and her daddies! She does indeed look more beautiful than ever. What is the secret of her fountain of youth? Our two remaining members of the pug posse are 14.5 and 16 years and we are really cherishing them in their “seniordom”. We think we can attribute their longevity to giving them only homemade food for most of their lives.

    Taking a long break is completely understandable. The care and interest you’ve put into this blog (which I’ve been following for most of its years) really shows. I’m guilty of falling off on expressing appreciation of your efforts; for example I didn’t tell you how the latest Christmas window post was the most spectacular yet. Thanks for all that you share!

    • The Biscuits says:

      WOW, you have pugs that are 14.5 and 16? amazing!!! I love senior dogs just simply because of the wisdom and love they carry ion their eyes. It’s like they have seen it all, and in actuality, they have! I’m so happy that you have been a fan of the blog for so many years and have commented from time to time. We enjoy our correspondences with you. Hopefully, I’ll have some new updates on Mamma’s little corner on the web real soon. Thanks for the Birthday greetings!


  6. Sandra says:

    It’s never too late to say Happy Birthday sweet Mamma Biscuit!!!
    I just love you to pieces (even if we have the Atlantic between us)!!!
    Thank you for sharing your life with all of us :)

    • The Biscuits says:

      AWWWW Thanks Sandra for the lovely Birthday wishes. I’ll make sure to give Mamma Biscuit an extra kiss and squeeze tonight when I get home from work just for you ;-)

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